Yeah, everyone wants to be Oprah’s next book. Heck, some people are even willing to make stuff up to get that honor. But us, we’re realistic. We know Oprah’s not calling. Heck, just to make things easier, Oprah can just take us out of the running.
It’s not that we wouldn’t like the PR, but we know this book is just not right for her audience. Married, 40-something year-old women really wouldn’t benefit from our book. In fact, it would only worry them as to what their sons may soon be up to. So to save them from that and the pain of having to discuss whether drinking beers at Munich's Oktoberfest or partying it up in a toga on the island of Corfu is a better adventure at their next bookclub, we are officially asking Oprah to forever ignore our book. Along with our withdrawal from consideration, here are ten reasons this book isn’t quite fit for Oprah.
10. The phrase, “get so high you think you hear Pink Floyd singing from your buddy’s eyebrows” from our Amsterdam section.
9. Lack of plot, characters or storyline.
8. This suggestion: “Have sex with a girl who thinks your name is Thor.”
7. The over 323 references to “boobs.”
6. The verbiage, “pampering my little Zeus underwater,” from Chapter 4: the Greek Islands.
5. We encourage lying about being a silver medalist in the luge.
4. This line: “Don’t forget your grape smuggler… and a sock.”
3. 3 words: Tijuana. Stripper. Donkey.
2. We may have made some stuff up.
1. Chapters 1-8